He's Still In Control!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah!!

That's kinda like how I've been feeling. But it's my fault. You see yesterday while on my way to work the thought came to me that maybe I should fast today. And it was so...well that is until I got a migrane and my stomach started hurting. Now, why didnt I just rebuke the devil and continue? Because once again, Trese wanted to have her way. So 11:40 came around and I was off to eat some rice and chicken (although the rice was quite tasty it wasnt worth me not fasting). So the day goes on and everything's going just swell. UNTIL I recieved a very disturbing phone call. Oh talk about feeling sick. I was watching a GREAT movie and it was hard for me to focus on because I was just worrying about this call. I called my mom and told her my situation but as always I told on myself. God knew what was waiting for me and if I would've just stayed my course I would've had the strength I needed to handle that call.

I was soooo salty (as they would say back in 1990). All I could do was pray and trust that God was going to work it out not for my gratification but according to his will. Yes, I'm still in this test but as I told God I don't want these people to see LaTrese Deonna Hodges! I've been seen for 22 years- I want them to look at me and see God. There's a KF song out and the bridge says,

If I say I love Jesus, but you can't see my Jesus
My words are empty, if they can't see Jesus in me
No more excuses, I give myself away
Because I may be the only Jesus they see

Oh ya'll more than anything I want people to see Christ through me. For all I know I might be their first impression of Christ and as we all know first impressions can effect the final decision.

Before going to bed I again talked to my mom. She said pray about it and let God work it out. Let God tell you what to say. I opened my bible and I read Mark 19. It's a verse that says something like but with God all things are possible. MAN! IM TELLING YA'LL GOD WANTS ME TO TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE BONDS AND AFFLICTION AS PAUL SAID...NONE OF THESE THINGS MOVE ME...You may ask me why it doesnt it affect you? Well, I think about it a lot even and most times I have to tell myself to focus on other things let go and let God...NONE OF THESE MOVE ME NEITHER COUNT MY LIFE DEAR UNTO MYSELF THAT I MIGHT FINISH (RUN) MY COURSE WITH JOY..!! Ya'll there's a song that's playing RIGHT now and it says..GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF ME! The hardest part of my life was when he carried me!!! MY HEART IS ENCOURAGED! HE IS STILL IN CONTROL! NO MATTER WHAT MAN MAY DO OR SAY MY GOD WILL TAKE CARE! I'M SOOOOO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN! ONE SCRIPTURE I READ SAID WHAT MANNER OF LOVE IS THIS...

YA'LL I DONT KNOW WHAT TOMORROW HOLDS BUT I KNOW WHO HOLDS TOMORROW AND I KNOW THAT HE HOLDS MY HAND.

sorry for the caps...I got excited there...ok Im not sorry...so I'm sorry I said sorry...lol

But PUHLEASE continue to hold me up in your prayers- more than anything in my life I want to have an experience with God and in order to do that I'm going to have to go through somethings. As they say only the strong survive and I mean to be one of those standing at the end hearing God say, Well done my good and faithful servant!

Love ya'll bunches!!!


P.S this is another KF song that I love!


Lately I've been thinkin'
Thinking 'bout you
And all the things
I've seen you go through
Your mother the kids and
The problems at home
Sorry I wish I could fix what's wrong
I hurt when you hurt and
I cry when you cry
Even the deep ones
Sometimes wonder why am I going through
I'm waiting but still no use

[Chorus:]
He's still in control
He's soverign and He knows
Just how it feels to be afraid
Have folk you love walk away
Be still and know He's still in control

[Verse 2:]
Lately depression
Your job and your life
Weighs on your mind
All day and all night
You know every scripture
And what prayer to pray
Only a fool would think
It'll all go away
But there is a use
For you there's a plan
A High Priest who knows
And who understands what you cannot say
Just a little longer can you wait

[Chorus:]
He's still in control
He's soverign and he knows
Just how it feels to be afraid
Have folk you love walk away
Be still and know He's still in control

[Bridge:]
Don't know what tomorrow will bring
Or if this sickness will ever leave
You can paint a perfect picture
But will it ever look like it used to be
See, one thing I know for sure
This season made you stronger and more mature
Can't you see how far you've come
And when you look back
It's gonna be worth it, oooh

[Chorus]

He's still in control
He's still in control
He's still in control