Marvelous Grace

Almost 3 years ago I moved to Boston. From the moment I landed I knew I would hate this strange land. Talk about the most unfriendliest people...YEESH! I moved here in January and it took me 2 months before I found a job. I applied for soooo many jobs from Victoria's Secret to a Mall Cop. Nothing happened and I was running low on cash. Then one day I noticed that Dunkin Donuts was hiring paying about 8 bucks/hr and so I applied for it. God knows I dreaded the thought of working at a place so low (by my standards) but then it turned out that they were the ONLY place to call me. At that moment I told God, "Lord, I dont wanna work at no Dunkin Donuts but if it's what you want me to do, help me to let my pride go and be the best donut and coffee maker they ever seen." And no lie, once I said that prayer and let it go I got a call from the Ritz-Carlton. They wanted to offer me a job making 13.75/hr!! SERIOUSLY!! Needless to say I took it and ran with it. Thinking back on this particular time, I can honestly say that I felt God's presence with me. Now dont get me wrong I wasnt saved but I knew HE was there. It's a song that the saints in Sharon sing that says, "he was there all the time, he was there all the time, waiting patiently in line, he was there all the time." HE was there to dry the MANY tears that I've cried and even though I denied him over and over he was still there.

Years passed and of course I got involved in things. I went where I wanted, did what I wanted- the taste of liberty was good. I didnt have anyone to answer to I came and went as I pleased Life was great. But the pleasures of sin only last for a season and I soon found myself thinking about God and his grace and mercy unto me. Now granted, I wasnt strung out or drugs or alcohol. I didnt sleep around or anything like that i just liked having a good time. But that good time was leading me to the same miserable hell. I was going through my many papers one day (Im what you call a pack rat) and I found in my spiral (of which I've had since way before moving out here) a letter that I had written to God when I first moved out here. It read, " Lord, Dont let me be out on the street. I need security and a place to lay my head. help me to respect you in all things and if it's your will for me to be on the street then help me to bear it." Man, When I read that tears came to my eyes. I started thinking about how far away from God I had gotten. no i wasnt being disrespectful and yes, I was telling people about God and how I was raised But that feeling of HIS closeness was no longer there. How clear he was to me then and now I couldn't even feel his presence. I mean I knew he was protecting me from seen and unseen danger but I didnt feel that warmness that I knew was there 3 years ago.
Now moving to present day....about 2 weeks ago I told my job that I was moving back home. I called my mom and told her to have the saints pray that i get a certain job. ( now ya'll kno that saints children kno how to get prayers thru...) My mom said, "You need to pray and ask God what he wants you to do, he may not want you to come back." Oooooh I aint wanna hear that! but nevertheless it was the truth and so I pondered it. I went to work that same day and realized that I didnt have my bank key (something like a cash register but not quite). I had dropped my purse at home and things had fallen out so I assumed that the key was included. Needless to say I was sooooo wrong. That was on Friday and so my boss gave me until Sunday to find it. Sunday came around still no key. I went to him again and he said if you dont find that key that's 1) a write up 2) you gotta pay $75-$100 and 3) you won't be able to transfer....WHOA!!! Come again??!!!! Yup no transfer I was in flames...wat do you mean no transfer over some stupid key?? Then my mom popped into my head..."God may not want you to come back..." Ruined my entire day. I called my parents and then realized..."GOOD JESUS! It's Sunday! They goin be in church allllll day I aint never finna talk to them!" Talk about knowing how to blow people up. I'll call everyone in my family's phone just to get to my momma. It didnt work this time...My boss gave me one more day. I was walkin home from work and i had finally got my mom on the line. Of course she tells me all the things that I'm doing wrong. "You need to learn to be content no matter if the situation is good or bad. Thank God anyway....See ya'll just want the blessings but not the blessor..." Oh yea she was right but as she was talking god told me, " You think you can go through life without me and get by but look at you, You need me regardless of how big or small the problem is." My mom prayed and needless to say God allowed the key to show up the very next morning! But I still wanted my way.

But July 12, 2008 while sitting in a chair rocking a sleeping baby God allowed Sis. Jennings to ask me what was keeping me from getting saved. She said I know you want it. I can see it in your eyes how bad you want it. Oh she was right. I mean seriously... I would plan my trips home around service. Wednesday night is bible study soo....I'll fly in Wednesday morning be at church that night. hmm...let's party harty on Friday night cuz Saturday i wanna be in the bed for church Sunday morning...hmmm I feel sick let's just Go to the Youth Jubilee....lol! My entire life revolved around church...it's a saying that goes, You can take the girl out the streets but you cant take the streets out the girl...that was me- You can take me outta church but you cant take the church outta me! ;P I realized that I couldnt run anymore. I didnt want to. I made the best decision of my life that day. The song says, The moment I knelt down upon my knees in prayer was the moment a beggar became a millionair, he came to live within this heart of mine and he filled it with glory divine and it happened that very moment he saved my soul. There's another song that says, I was in prison locked up in chains sin held me captive to sorrow and pain, years of frustration as love passed me by until the master heard my hearts cry for grace, Marvelous grace, I needed grace to pardon and make me whole OH Grace Marvelous Grace flows from above with infinite love Marvelous GRACE!!

It's only been a few days now but I've made up mind I'm Goin Live for Jesus! He died for me so the least I can do is Live for him!!


Luv ya'll bunches!!